Successful sports professional can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, there is a common trend in which successful sports
professionals
earn much more money than people who have other very important professions. In
this
case, most opinions say that
this
is something understandable
while
other sectors of
society
complain about it. I believe that at some point, both points of view are right, but the main difference in the income of these sports
professionals
is related to the companies and agencies who are paying their salaries.
In particular
, famous sportspeople earn millions because the market is designed for that. The clubs where these guys play are not the only ones who pay them. Most of the players are sponsored by international brands, doing numerous campaigns and commercials.
For example
, Messi, the best soccer player in the world had a record with the most-liked picture on Instagram, blowing up the numbers in the history of
this
huge social media company.
Consequently
, popularity is the main reason why they have a massive income, and something very important to recognise as well is the fact that many of them contribute to different charity programs around the globe, doing much more than governments and other important companies.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that a plethora of fundamental professions for
society
are not well recognised by the governments, as their salaries
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
reflecting
Wrong verb form
reflect
show examples
the quality and value of their work.
For instance
, educators and
professionals
of health like doctors, nurses and psychologists are the base of the community, but their income is not enough for what they do. There is a salary crisis generalized throughout the world, and the most affected are those who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
been studying for years, preparing themselves for the best and, especially, who are giving their love, empathy and patience to an invaluable job.
Therefore
, it is unfair that the money around the world is being so badly distributed, but the sports
professionals
are not guilty of
this
. In conclusion, even if it is true that a large number of
professionals
in
society
must be paid what they deserve, I do not think that sportspersons are wrong as they contribute to entertaining massive people, which is understandable that many companies are interested in them and there is nothing wrong with it.
However
, I believe that we should be joint as a
society
to claim better salaries for all these people who work and support our humankind.
Submitted by rominaprioletta90 on

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Task Response
The essay provides a comprehensive discussion on both views and shares a clear opinion, but the introduction could be more vivid and engaging to fully capture the reader's attention.
Coherence & Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear and well-developed, with strong supporting evidence. However, pay attention to using more varied linking devices to enhance the coherence of the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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