Some children spent hours every day on their smartphones What is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Nowadays, more and more amount of minors

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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spending an enormous

time

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on their mobile

phones

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day by day. The following essay will point out several factors and the reasons for suchlike a phenomenon and, in my opinion, it is a negative development.

Firstly

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, a dramatic rise in children’s phone use is a result of society’s change.

In other words

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, people become more socially inactive, which means they are not able to communicate with each other and spend

time

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together in real life.

Therefore

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, minors were affected by that trend and they are addicted to their smartphones and social media.

In addition

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, our century is

also

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no longer just items surrounded by people and other things. Now, children are living modern life, as our technology and science developed incredibly and either a turn was obvious. Despite the all benefits of teenagers using

phones

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, there are more drawbacks and I think it is a negative development. In detail, the children get only sickness and harm their well-being by wasting

time

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phones

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For example

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, doctors proved the risks of losing the ability or quality of eyes after being involved with a mobile phone. Another drawback of the curler phenomenon is splitting from society,

consequently

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losing major skills like communication and youngsters can destroy relationships with friends or others

due to

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the lack of sufficient

time

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For instance

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, there was an accident where a child killed his own mother because of her requirement to stop sitting on the smartphone,

then

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doctors confirmed his disrupted psychological state. In conclusion,

this

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phenomenon of youngsters'

extremely enjoys

Replace the word

extreme enjoyment

show examples

phones

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is caused by certain reasons

such

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as a developed

time

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and the community’s inactiveness. I think that it is a negative trend.

Submitted by 29th of april on Mon Apr 17 2023

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task response

Your essay provides a general response to the task question, but the introduction and conclusion could be more clear and focused. Make sure to address the prompt directly in your introduction and restate your main points in the conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure, but there are some issues with cohesion. Consider using transition words and phrases to better connect your ideas and improve the flow of the essay.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spent hours every day on their smartphones What is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

some epople think pollution and damage of environment are resulted from a country developing. to what extent do you agree or disagree

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the users should cover the costs. Discuss and give your opinion.