IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, it has become easier and more affordable for people to visit other countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #visit #countries #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It cannot be denied that as international
travel
Use synonyms
 is becoming easier and more affordable, certain issues and
inconvenience
Fix the agreement mistake
inconveniences
show examples
 have been brought to both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 and locals.
As a result
Linking Words
, some impressionable people might form the bias that the
development
Use synonyms
 of international
travel
Use synonyms
 is more of a negative
development
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, as far as
culture
Use synonyms
 and globalization, international
economy
Use synonyms
, and environmental protection are concerned,
such
Linking Words
 a
development
Use synonyms
 is for sure a positive one. First and foremost, the increasing easiness and affordability of international
travel
Use synonyms
promotes
Change the verb form
promote
show examples
 both the spread of domestic
culture
Use synonyms
 and learning of foreign
culture
Use synonyms
, contributing to a deeper international mutual understanding.
Due to
Linking Words
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 in ideology and
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
, nations around the
world
Use synonyms
 usually hold
stereotype
Replace the word
stereotypical
show examples
 opinions
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 others, causing difficulties in personal, business, and political communication and cooperation. Easier international
travel
Use synonyms
 not only enables
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 to show the
world
Use synonyms
 what their true life is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
showcase
Correct subject-verb agreement
showcases
show examples
 the
world
Use synonyms
 right in front of the
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
.
Second,
Linking Words
the fact that easier international
travel
Use synonyms
 promotes the growth of
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
 indicates that it is definitely a positive
development
Use synonyms
. Take Thailand, a country that benefits greatly from tourism,
for example
Linking Words
. Thanks to the easiness of international
travel
Use synonyms
 in modern days, the reasonable cost of living, fantastic sightseeing spots, and charming
culture
Use synonyms
 in Thailand can be enjoyed by people around the
world
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, about 25% of Thailand’s
economy
Use synonyms
 is closely associated with tourism, which has provided tons of jobs for locals. Had it not been for the easiness and affordability
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 international
travel
Use synonyms
, Thailand would not have been able to attract international
travels
Replace the word
travellers
show examples
 or create jobs for citizens. A voice arises that international
travel
Use synonyms
 could bring devastating effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the local environment
due to
Linking Words
 pollution. Ironically, it is usually not the
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 who bring damage but lack of funding or poor management. Particularly in developing regions, without the income from
Use synonyms
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
, the locals would have no choice but to exploit natural resources and damage the environment;
on the other hand
Linking Words
, effective tourism management can not only generate funding for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental protection but keep the sightseeing spots from being affected.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in terms of
culture
Use synonyms
 and globalization, international
economy
Use synonyms
, and environmental protection, I strongly hold the opinion that easier international
travel
Use synonyms
 is a positive
development
Use synonyms
Submitted by xyf123pg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: