IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In their advertising businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
Nowadays business advertisements focus on a new
product
 in general.
That is
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertising is the first appearance of the
product
 to attract a consumer. I would argue that
this
 is a negative
development
 for a
company
 for two reasons. On one hand, when the budget of the
products
company
 would be used only on
product
 advertisement and would not be distributed to other crucial parts of the
products
 processing section,
then
this
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a negative
development
.
For example
, the
products
 research and
development
 sector plays an important role to process an improved
product
. When they have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped money to spend, there would lack improvement of their new
products
 formula and interested packaging of
products
.
Therefore
, the
products
 would
behind
Add a missing verb
be behind
show examples
 and
underdevelop
Change the form of the verb
underdeveloped
show examples
 when compared to other establishments.
On the other hand
,
company
 employees should have to get more improved skills. The budget to develop the human resource might crucial thing to concern.
For instance
, if the workers would not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
trained in their new skills, they would not provide jobs to get reach targets.
In addition
, for safety aspects, labours would have to be trained to remind security
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
Change preposition
of practise
show examples
practise
Replace the word
practice
show examples
 to prevent any accidents happened when they worked. In conclusion,
that is
truely
Correct your spelling
true
 that new
products
 advertising should be emphasised by the
company
 because there attract consumers to buy their
products
, in my opinion, I believe that there is a negative
development
 and give the reasons that I mentioned.
Submitted by vanil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: