Some people believe that It is good to Share as much information as possible in Scientific Research business and the academic World. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Gaining
information
is going to be easier and easier as time goes by. Some believe that it is pleasing to have
knowledge
in all fields, whilst others think that some facts are significant to be distributive. In
this
essay, I will discuss both views and try to give my opinion. Thanks to the development of technology which gives the opportunity
of handling
Change preposition
to handle
show examples
any kind of
information
whenever you want. A growing number of people feel that it is stunning to enhance your
knowledge
through shareable facts by scientists, successful businessmen or a professor in an elite university. Take Google as an example. University students can read articles from lectures all around the world
along with
obtaining
knowledge
or skills that would be useful in their future job opportunities.
In addition
, some societies especially in slum areas do not have the chance of getting
information
themselves so
this
is the only way of learning . There is
also
an argument that some reports are precious or secret to be shared. They feel that it would have a negative impact. A good example of
this
would be Scientific scientific Intelligence. Telling ordinary people about the process of making a bomb would be a disaster
consequently
; it is the kind that should be hidden from citizens.
Additionally
, in the business department if a businessman shares news it could be the biggest mistake of his life.
As you
Correct word choice
You
show examples
give the possibility to your competitor to learn the ropes from your own mouth and in some cases it may beat you and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
you
become
Verb problem
apply
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bankrupt. In conclusion, for each person during it's life, is better to collect
information
as much as possible. These days it is not a demanding task to expand
knowledge
in Scientific, business and academic parts. In my view, these categories are not serious enough at which point their wisdom had better be controlled and in my opinion, its benefits outweigh any negatives.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

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task response
The essay response is on the lower end in terms of task response, coherence, and cohesion. There are some relevant points made, but they are not fully developed.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is quite basic. There is a clear introduction and conclusion, but the development in the main body paragraph is lacking in depth and coherence.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is adequate, with some good vocabulary used. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and misuse of words.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is limited in this essay. There are several grammatical errors, and the sentence structures are quite basic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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