IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#country #technology #skills #life
It is believed that improved technologies may make traditional lifestyles less popular. Some people think that it is not needed to save local skills and ways of
life
. In my point of view, it is strictly nessousary to keep them because they show our
history
 and culture. On the one side,
history
 is an important part of any county because it expresses mentality and
way
 of
life
. I am sure that
history
 could be useful for future generations because it will help to build the future without
last
 mistakes.
For instance
, it is known that world
history
repeat
Change the verb form
repeats
show examples
 itself from time to time. 107 If humanity will save
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
history
 well, it would be a good platform to build an amazing world.
Also
, culture is an important part of every country because
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 need to
identification
Replace the word
identify
show examples
 themself. Honestly, traditional skills and
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of
life
 should be kept alive because they help us to feel our place on our planet. It is believed that most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people want to know the
history
 of their families because it helps them to understand their roots. In my opinion, developed technology has a huge impact on our
way
 of
life
 in most countries, but we should
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 our
way
 of
life
 and traditional skills because they can be used by future generations and
also
 they are important for people who care about their roots.
Submitted by engroutine on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancement
  • Efficiency
  • Global connectivity
  • Cultural identity
  • Diversity
  • Innovation
  • Coexist
  • Sustainable
  • Eco-friendly
  • Energy-intensive
  • Practical skills
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Homogenize
  • Preservation
  • Global diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: