IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #activities #freedom
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The topic of how much
freedom
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
 should have versus how much supervision they need from their
parents
Use synonyms
 is a highly debated
one
Use synonyms
. Some people believe that
parents
Use synonyms
 should closely monitor their
children
Use synonyms
's activities,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
children
Use synonyms
 should have more
freedom
Use synonyms
. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, those who advocate for close supervision believe that it is necessary to protect
children
Use synonyms
 from harm. They argue that
children
Use synonyms
 are naturally curious and often lack the necessary judgment to make good decisions. They
also
Linking Words
 point out that there are many dangers in the world,
such
Linking Words
 as online predators, drugs, and gangs, that can seriously harm
children
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 must keep a watchful eye on their
children
Use synonyms
 to ensure their safety and well-being.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who support giving
children
Use synonyms
 more
freedom
Use synonyms
 argue that it is important for
children
Use synonyms
 to develop their independence and decision-making skills. They believe that overprotecting
children
Use synonyms
 can stifle their growth and prevent them from learning important life lessons.
Moreover
Linking Words
, giving
children
Use synonyms
 some degree of
freedom
Use synonyms
 can help them develop a sense of responsibility and self-discipline. In my opinion, both views have some merit.
While
Linking Words
 it is important for
parents
Use synonyms
 to monitor their
children
Use synonyms
's activities and ensure their safety, it is
also
Linking Words
 important to allow
children
Use synonyms
 to learn from their mistakes and gain independence.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that a balanced approach is the best
one
Use synonyms
.
Parents
Use synonyms
 should provide their
children
Use synonyms
 with a safe and supportive environment
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 giving them age-appropriate opportunities to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions. In conclusion, the debate between giving
children
Use synonyms
 more
freedom
Use synonyms
 and closely supervising them is a complex
one
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 both views have their pros and cons, a balanced approach is likely the best solution.
Parents
Use synonyms
 should strive to provide their
children
Use synonyms
 with the support they need
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 allowing them to grow and develop into independent individuals.
Submitted by nuchnapa.anna on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: