Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A part of
the
society is sure that adding more places for sport is the best approach for improving public health. Correct article usage
apply
An another
part thinks that the effect on Remove the article
Another
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
in
Add the comma(s)
, in this case,
this
case is minimal and advocates for other solutions. In my opinion, creating more infrastructure for sport
activities can stimulate people to Change the noun form
sports
became
more active physically, but it is not as Change the form of the verb
become
much
important as providing access to professional healthcare. Correct quantifier usage
apply
At
the one hand, a high number of gyms and workout locations removes a lot of blockers when a person is trying to Change preposition
On
decide
Add the particle
todecide
wether
it is a good idea to go there. Correct your spelling
whether
As a result
, more people became involved in this
movement, and it helps to reduce health issues related to hypodymania
. Correct your spelling
hypomania
For example
, when I lived in a place near a park with tracks for running, I had much more enthusiasm to use them for
a few times a week compared to times when I lived in other places. Change preposition
apply
At
Change preposition
On
the
Remove the article
apply
another
hand, there are much more problems other than Correct quantifier usage
other
hypodynamia
, and the best solution to deal with them is ensuring that professional healthcare is available for everyone. Issues related to a poor diet or unhealthy lifestyle often can be Correct your spelling
hyperdynamic
be
solved Remove the redundancy
apply
by
Change preposition
with
few
Correct article usage
a few
Correct quantifier usage
pieces of advices
advices
from a good doctor. It can quickly increase an average life expectancy by a few years. Unfortunately, not all countries have that. Correct your spelling
advice
For example
, in the United States people are often scared to go to a hospital, because it can ends
up with a huge bill or even Change the verb form
end
a
bankruptcy. Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, although
creating more sports facilities is beneficial for public health, it is far from being the best way to improve it. Providing affordable medical services is much more important for keeping population
in a good condition.Add an article
the population
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite