You have bought a new camera but when you got home it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • introduce yourself • explain the situation • say what action you would like the company to take.

#camera #home #company #representative #week #situation #action

I'm writing to you concerning a recent issue with a

camera

that I purchased from your store. My name is Shabnam and I bought a

camera

from your store

last

month.

However

, upon reaching home, I realized that the

camera

had some technical problems. I returned the

camera

to your store and spoke with one of your representatives about the

issu

Correct your spelling

issue

issues

a week ago. They told me they would fix it. Unfortunately, it has been a week and I have

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

heard anything about the status of the repair. I really need

this

camera

because recently when I

will

Verb problem

apply

show examples

go on a trip with my family, I want to take pictures of the fun I have with my family.

You

Correct pronoun usage

Your

show examples

prompt attention to

this

matter will be greatly appreciated. The delay

Correct your spelling

show examples

getting it repaired has caused me frustration . I kindly request that you expedite the repair process and provide me with

update

Add an article

an update

the update

show examples

at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your assistance in resolving

this

issue. Yours faithfully Shabnam.

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

To further improve the coherence and cohesion, make sure to structure your paragraphs in a way that each contains a single major idea. This will make your letter even clearer.

task achievement

Ensure all minor grammatical and spelling errors are corrected to make your text more fluent and polished. For example, 'issu' should be 'issue' and 'no heard' should be 'not heard'.

coherence cohesion

Your letter has a clear greeting and closing, which adds to the formal tone of the letter.

task achievement

The writing tone is suitable and polite, making your request come across effectively and considerately.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

170 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers, should be required to wok in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

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Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.