IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You have bought a new camera but when you got home it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • introduce yourself • explain the situation • say what action you would like the company to take.

#camera #home #company #representative #week #situation #action
I'm writing to you concerning a recent issue with a
camera
 that I purchased from your store. My name is Shabnam and I bought a
camera
 from your store
last
 month.
However
, upon reaching home, I realized that the
camera
 had some technical problems. I returned the
camera
 to your store and spoke with one of your representatives about the
issu
Correct your spelling
issue
issues
 a week ago. They told me they would fix it. Unfortunately, it has been a week and I have
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 heard anything about the status of the repair. I really need
this
camera
 because recently when I
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
go on a trip with my family, I want to take pictures of the fun I have with my family.
You
Correct pronoun usage
Your
show examples
 prompt attention to
this
 matter will be greatly appreciated. The delay
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 getting it repaired has caused me frustration . I kindly request that you expedite the repair process and provide me with
update
Add an article
an update
the update
show examples
 at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your assistance in resolving
this
 issue. Yours faithfully Shabnam.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve the coherence and cohesion, make sure to structure your paragraphs in a way that each contains a single major idea. This will make your letter even clearer.
task achievement
Ensure all minor grammatical and spelling errors are corrected to make your text more fluent and polished. For example, 'issu' should be 'issue' and 'no heard' should be 'not heard'.
coherence cohesion
Your letter has a clear greeting and closing, which adds to the formal tone of the letter.
task achievement
The writing tone is suitable and polite, making your request come across effectively and considerately.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
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