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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that people who read books can develop more imagination and language skills than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#people #books #imagination #language #skills #tv
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Some people emphasize that people who read books can think very widely than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 would like to watch
TV
. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and think that reading
book
Correct article usage
a book
show examples
 is much more important than
watch
Change the verb form
watching
show examples
TV
. First of all, I believe that reading
book
 gives people more knowledge and imagination. Watching
TV
 wastes
peopleʼs
Correct your spelling
people's
time
while
 someone is taking a number of information.
For example
, at the
time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Navai lived there was
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
 set. He did not watch
TV
, but he had
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 high level of vocabulary. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, it is more important to read
Add an article
the book
a book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 any
time
.
Secondly
,
reading
Add an article
the reading
show examples
book
 keeps you motivated. If you read a
book
, you will
interest
Add a missing verb
be interest
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 next events in the next pages. When you finish it, you feel a big conclusion,
then
 you will never forget about it. If you watch
TV
 during
this
time
, you may not remember it later.
For instance
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 famous writer Abdulla Kahhar was very impressed
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a story by Oʻtkir Khoshimov. He said
his
Change the pronoun
he
show examples
 never read
this
 kind of pure work.
Thus
, books give you
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 relaxing mood.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that reading books is more beneficial than watching
TV
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it expands the readerʼs vocabulary and helps to spend
time
 significantly.
Submitted by chartakinnovation on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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