IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think government should pay for health care and education, but others believe it is not the government responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #health #care #education #responsibility
A fair portion of the
people
think
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thinks
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 that the
government
 should spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 medical
care
 and knowledge
enhancment
Correct your spelling
enhancement
where as
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whereas
show examples
 others opine that it is not
Correct article usage
the authority
show examples
authority
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authority's
show examples
 duty to pay.
This
 essay intends to analyse both
side
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sides
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 of
argument
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the argument
an argument
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 and
conveying
Wrong verb form
convey
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 my personal point of view On the one hand, the
government
 has several
duty
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duties
show examples
 and
responsibility
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responsibilities
show examples
 that need to be given to the common
citiyen
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citizen
citizens
 to fulfil their needs To be clearer, the
government
 is collecting
massive
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a massive
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of tax from the common masses
this
 amount should be given to
people
 as tax returns in the form free
education
 and medical
care
Add the comma(s)
, as well as the government primary goal,
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as well as
 the
government
 primary goal
is provide
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is to provide
show examples
education
primary goal is provide
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apply
show examples
education
 and safe and secure each
people
 life.
For instance
,
the
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apply
show examples
South American country like Canada is giving priority to
education
 and medical
care
, they kept aside
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money for
this
 facility.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
people
 think that the
government
 has no role to give
education
 and medical
care
 because the
government
 has other major problems to resolve in their economy
such
poverty
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as poverty
show examples
 and infrastructure facilities
Moreover
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 put forward certain policy to
enhand
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enhance
enhanced
 the rural area So
this
 a
heactic
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hectic
 task for the authority to cope up on top of the at, they need to improve the transport system
such
 road, railway, bus to ensure the moving from one place to other
more
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apply
show examples
smoother and as long the logistics facilities Having
scurtinzed
Correct your spelling
scrutinized
 both the views, from my side I stick on with
government
 should give
education
 and medical
care
 free to the common
people
 to make
their
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 more feasible to live in the country and as long
education
 is the first and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
 element for economic boost up. So they should
empasinge
Correct your spelling
emphasise
 on
this
 element rather than the other sector
To sum up
,
although
 a fair portion of the opine that
education
 and medical
care
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not
government
 duty, I think it is
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 responsibility to provide
education
 and medical
care
 free to the
people
 because
education
 is important for economic development and health is the
Correct your spelling
most
atmost
Correct your spelling
most
priportiy
Correct your spelling
priority
 that authority should give
Submitted by amilingeorge12345 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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