IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think government should pay for health care and education, but others believe it is not the government responsibility Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #health #care #education #responsibility
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A fair portion of the
people
Use synonyms
think
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thinks
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 that the
government
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 should spend money
for
Change preposition
on
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 medical
care
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 and knowledge
enhancment
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enhancement
where as
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whereas
show examples
 others opine that it is not
Correct article usage
the authority
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authority
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authority's
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 duty to pay.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to analyse both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
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 of
argument
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the argument
an argument
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 and
conveying
Wrong verb form
convey
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 my personal point of view On the one hand, the
government
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 has several
duty
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duties
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 and
responsibility
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responsibilities
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 that need to be given to the common
citiyen
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citizen
citizens
 to fulfil their needs To be clearer, the
government
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 is collecting
massive
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a massive
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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 of tax from the common masses
this
Linking Words
 amount should be given to
people
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 as tax returns in the form free
education
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 and medical
care
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Add the comma(s)
, as well as the government primary goal,
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as well as
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 the
government
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 primary goal
is provide
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is to provide
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education
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primary goal is provide
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
education
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 and safe and secure each
people
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 life.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South American country like Canada is giving priority to
education
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 and medical
care
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, they kept aside
a
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apply
show examples
money for
this
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 facility.
On the other hand
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
people
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 think that the
government
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 has no role to give
education
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 and medical
care
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 because the
government
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 has other major problems to resolve in their economy
such
Linking Words
poverty
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as poverty
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 and infrastructure facilities
Moreover
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the
Correct your spelling
they
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 put forward certain policy to
enhand
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enhance
enhanced
 the rural area So
this
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 a
heactic
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hectic
 task for the authority to cope up on top of the at, they need to improve the transport system
such
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 road, railway, bus to ensure the moving from one place to other
more
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apply
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smoother and as long the logistics facilities Having
scurtinzed
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scrutinized
 both the views, from my side I stick on with
government
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 should give
education
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 and medical
care
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 free to the common
people
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 to make
their
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 more feasible to live in the country and as long
education
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 is the first and
formost
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foremost
 element for economic boost up. So they should
empasinge
Correct your spelling
emphasise
 on
this
Linking Words
 element rather than the other sector
To sum up
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,
although
Linking Words
 a fair portion of the opine that
education
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 and medical
care
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not
government
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 duty, I think it is
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the government
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government
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government's
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 responsibility to provide
education
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 and medical
care
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 free to the
people
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 because
education
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 is important for economic development and health is the
Correct your spelling
most
atmost
Correct your spelling
most
priportiy
Correct your spelling
priority
 that authority should give
Submitted by amilingeorge12345 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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