IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

More and more business meeting and business training have taken place on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

#business #place #internet #development
more and more companies choose to have
business
meetings
 or
business
 training online nowadays. But in my opinion,
this
 idea both brings advantages and disadvantages. I will discuss
this
 topic in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, taking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
meetings
 and
business
 training online can make the conversation or the discussion become easier. It can happen anytime and anywhere
instead
 of making an appointment. It makes communication more efficient.
However
, online activities maybe will cause the
employees
 can not exchange ideas with each other or the principal conveniently. That makes the
employees
 can not do the changes as soon as possible, and even the other people who are in the same programme still can not get a satisfactory change. Especially the works that need visual ideas, so that's why many film companies would like to choose offline work environments better.
On the other hand
, if more and more
business
meetings
 and
business
 training take place on the Internet. The new
employees
 can not have enough opportunities and chances to communicate with their colleagues.
Social
Add an article
The social
show examples
 relationship is
also
 an important part of the workplace. Online
meetings
 and training will let the
employees'
Change noun form
employees
show examples
 lack time to connect and make friends with each other. So
that is
also
 an important factor
needs
Correct pronoun usage
that needs
show examples
 to consider. In conclusion,
although
 online
business
meetings
 and training will be easier to hold. But it gives the
employees
 less time to communicate with each other in the workplace. If the companies still try to
choose
Add the particle
tochoose
show examples
 hold online offices, they should
also
 think about these risks.
Submitted by wujingyun843 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: