IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#television #children #two #five #support
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Nowadays, various ideas are shared on social media
as well as
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TV
Use synonyms
 through advertising programs, targeting a specific range of consumers, especially age range, so It’s controversial whether marketing campaigns targeting young
children
Use synonyms
 between 2 to 5 years old should be prohibited, from my point of view, I completely agree with the statement and
that is
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 for, these following reasons : On one hand,
children
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 at
this
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 age don't have the analytical skills,
besides
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 the shortage of rational reasoning,
consequently
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,
this
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 young community takes
TV
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 advertising
as well as
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 the content as the role model,
furthermore
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, the present type of
TV
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 advertising is not constructive at all which is very harmful to young’s community in term of social and practical skills ,
for instance
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, the action movies always tend to teach
children
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 violence,
as a result
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 of that they may learn as a lesson that every problem is always solved by the aggressiveness,
On the other hand
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, and far side of that,
tv
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 entertainment programs promote a misleading image of how life is and tend to guide young elements of society on a certain path to control older people,
for example
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, marketers happen to trigger the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
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 to raise their profits through parents, in others words, advertisers
besides
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 the marketing experts on
TV
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 are adamant to the idea that most of the parents could not refuse their
children
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 request, products
such
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 as clothing, toys, gadgets,
consequently
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, the
TV
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 advertisers play with people’s thoughts mainly the youngest community between 2 to 5 years old,
To conclude
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, as I stated in the previous lines, I deeply agree that Television entertainers target the young elements of the country mainly aged between 2 to 5 years should be prohibited
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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