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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.

The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Japan in the year 2009.
#bar #shares #expenditures #five #categories #states #canada #kingdom #japan #year
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The bar chart illustrates the proportions of
expenditures
Change the noun form
expenditure
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shares
Use synonyms
 for five different categories in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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, Canada,
UK
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 and Japan in a time slot
that is
Linking Words
 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obviously presented that almost all nations had the most
shares
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 for housing,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
shares
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 portions recorded for Health Care and Clothing in the given year. In terms of food,
Japan
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Japan's
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expenditures
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expenditure
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shares
Use synonyms
 were
the
Correct article usage
apply
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higher
of
Change preposition
by
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 around 23% being higher than
UK
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’s
shares
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 by approximately 3%. Canada and
USA
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 had around 15% and 13% sharing percentages, respectively. Housing Spending
Shares
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 hit
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak in
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USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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of
Change preposition
at
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 just over 25%,
while
Linking Words
UK
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 and Japan
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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registered
a share values
Correct the article-noun agreement
share values
a share value
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 of about 24% and 22% to outrace Canada’s Share by around 3%. As is seen, Transportation’s spending
shares
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 were 20% in Canada, and it accounted for 17% and 15% in
UK
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 and
USA
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 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, Health care and clothing had the least
shares
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 proportions of around 4% in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 and 6% in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
Submitted by ayham_a96 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shares, usa, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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