IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #taxes #contribution #society #responsibilities #members
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that paying
taxes
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 toward building a nation.
However
, some people believe that paying their
taxes
 only is not good enough and we have more duties to our
society
. I agree with those who argue that we have more responsibilities as
citizens
. On the one hand, in today’s contemporary
society
Add a comma
,society
show examples
 a big chunk of someone’s
earning
Fix the agreement mistake
earnings
show examples
 goes toward
taxes
, leaving them behind with a small amount of
money
. Because of
this
citizens
 often have to tighten their pockets and they are most of the time busy with the procurement of
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 needs. Taking the former into account, it leaves the onus of building infrastructures,
roads
Correct word choice
and roads
show examples
, and creating resources
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 societies with the government as they are the ones, who receive
such
 a big amount of
money
 collected through
taxes
.
On the other hand
, I believe
in addition
 to paying
taxes
, we have more duties as responsible
citizens
. People should abide by laws and help those in need.
For example
, if no one is obeying the law, it will create havoc and disruption
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
society
 and the government will need to spend more amount of
money
 on maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public order, spending
furthermore
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the government makes programs for all members of a community, sometimes these welfare schemes are not able to reach less fortunate members of
society
 leaving them vulnerable. We can help
such
 members by being altruistic to our fellow countrymen. In conclusion,
although
 the
money
 contributed through
taxes
 is helpful for a country for a variety of reasons,
But
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I believe
citizens
 of any
society
 have more duties
such
 as abiding by the laws and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 those in need, making their nation a place full of felicity
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: