Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood.

A real problem in society

now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

is that everyone has the obligation to decide what to do for a living when they are very young, at around 18-20 years of age.

This

leads to a real

dilema

Correct your spelling

dilemma

that it is exactly what we need to discuss. The

dilema

Correct your spelling

dilemma

is whether to choose a

career

based on you´re

passion

or based on a way to make money and earn a

liveleyhood

Correct your spelling

livelihood

. For the first point,

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

you should choose based on

you're

Replace the word

your

show examples

passion

. There are a lot of arguments, some of them being the following if

Correct your spelling

you're

youre

Add a verb

isyoure

wasyoure

show examples

not happy with the things

youre

Correct your spelling

you're

doing

then

you will not do them long enough to be worth it. If your

career

is in fact based on a

passion

of yours

then

you are more likely to do them a lot better and do it very well

compaed

Correct your spelling

compared

to something you dislike and

this

might ultimately lead you to make a better livelihood and earn more money because employers usually hire people that are passionate about what they do. I personally agree with

this

opinion.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

there are some other people that

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

the

opossite

Correct your spelling

opposite

of the arguments that were just presented and agree with the statement

Change preposition

apply

show examples

"you should choose

youre

Correct your spelling

your

career

in order to make a good living". Some of the arguments are based on assumptions

a long

Correct your spelling

along

show examples

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

lies that people that follow their

passion

do not

ussually succed

Correct your spelling

usually succeed

economiclly

Correct your spelling

economically

. In

conclussion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, for the

dilema

Correct your spelling

dilemma

Add a comma

,wether

show examples

wether

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

you should choose your

career

based on your

passion

or your

likelyhood

Correct your spelling

likelihood

to make good

mony

Correct your spelling

money

. I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

and it is my opinion that if you have the assets, you should

allways

Correct your spelling

always

follow your

passion

, adit is worth it to risk it for a chance at what you love.

Submitted by patriciareyesfiguero on Tue Apr 18 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Many believe that the goal of one’s career should be to pursue a passion while others feel it is merely a way to earn a livelihood.

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