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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below gives information about the household percentage of spending on essential goods in China for the years 1995 and 2011

The chart below gives information about the household percentage of spending on essential goods in China for the years 1995 and 2011
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The pie chart shows money expenditure on basic necessities
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as Food, clothing, medicine and household goods in Chinese country during the 2 years (1995 and 2011)
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be seen that household goods accounted for the majority of the budget percentage earlier in 1995,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 nutrient demands accounted for the least in the same year. In detail, household products provided the most of the spending, at 68%.
Similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
category
Add an article
the category

The noun phrase category seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 had been provided within 16 years later with the only difference of 9%. The other sectors were much smaller. Clothing, which was the second largest expenditure, brought in 19% during the 1995 year, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 was followed by food, at 9%. The least spending was on medicine, accounting for only 4% combined. There was the same picture in the past 2011 with
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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very small differences among the three categories of food, clothing and medicine. The clothing and medical sector considering 11% and 12% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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