IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

To meet the growing need for food to support an increasing population, a country should make use of edible insects as a food source. However, some people believe that insects are not only unhealthy but harvesting them will also negatively affect nature. What are the benefits and drawbacks of eating insects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Ther
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There
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 is no doubt these days the
overall
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 world
indivaduals
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individuals
 controversy surr the
ounding
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rounding
 scarcity of
nutraion
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nutrition
.
Th
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The
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 question is why some
nation
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nations
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consuder
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consider
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 insects
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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negative
Add an article
a negative
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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 on
human
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the human
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body
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body's
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 health and
environment
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the environment
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 .
Body paragraph 1
In
this
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essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I am going to discuss
this
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 matter and
i
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I
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 would
points
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point
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the
Change preposition
out the
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advanteges
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advantages
 and
disadventeges
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disadvantages
 of it .
Body paragraph 2
In terms
the
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of the
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 downside of
culture
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the culture
a culture
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 of handling
the
Correct article usage
apply
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insects
a
Change preposition
as a
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source of food . The main reason given to support the claim is
tremendously
Correct article usage
the tremendously
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 unpleasure consequences of
this
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Body paragraph 3
prevalent habitat .To illustrate, in the
last
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 2015 health
instituation
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institution
institutions
 WHO published
report
Correct article usage
a report
show examples
 of
study
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the study
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 had been done
in
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on
show examples
 the
regien
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region
 people using these small creatures as
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
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 in major meals to found nearly
by
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apply
show examples
92 per cent of them have serious
diasease
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disease
diseases
 leading to death in
short
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a short
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period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
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 of time
such
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 as
:
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apply
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necrosis in the
gastointestnal
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gastrointestinal
 system.
Body paragraph 4
Moreover
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, the
starnge
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strange
nutration
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nutrition
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 eating Bug ,
Butter fly
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Butterfly
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, Bee .....etc
in particular
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 countries must
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
Correct article usage
an adveisr
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adveisr
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adverse
affect
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effect
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature .
Fistly
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Firstly
,
alot
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a lot
 of
insect
Fix the agreement mistake
insects
show examples
 have a major work in the environment. In
otherwords
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other words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bee used
tp
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to
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product
Replace the word
produce
show examples
 the
huny
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hunt
while
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 , that have
critical
Add an article
a critical
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 role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human health .
Secondly
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 , harvesting
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 small
cretures
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creatures
creature
 lead to alteration in the whole life
cycile
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cycle
cycles
 on the earth .
In other words
Linking Words
, some bird
feeding
Wrong verb form
feed
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 on kind of insects when that it
is disappear
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disappears
show examples
 it mean the bird will not
survave
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survive
 in future.
Consequently
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 to
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
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 and human
complication
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complications
show examples
.
Conclusion
In conclusion. it is evident ,
the
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that
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ambigious
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ambiguous
ambitious
 citizen life
patten
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pattern
show examples
 and food behaviour causing
dangerouse
Correct your spelling
dangerous
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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 our world . The
concern
Change the verb form
concerned
show examples
 government must ensure the steps taken to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem and prevent
from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
show examples
 deteriorating future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • food scarcity
  • edible insects
  • nutritional benefits
  • cultural barriers
  • psychological barriers
  • mainstream food source
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmentally sustainable
  • economic benefits
  • local farmers
  • health safety
  • allergies
  • pesticides
  • pollutants
  • ecosystems
  • biodiversity
  • regulations
  • hygiene
  • unforeseen consequences
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