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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar chart presents the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 that were born in and outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 in different
areas
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, including
cities
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,
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
, and rural, in 1995 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that there was an increased
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who were born in
cities
Use synonyms
 both in and outside
Australia
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who were born in
towns
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 significantly decreased.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, there were around 50% of
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were born in
cities
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
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 in 1995, and the
percentage
Use synonyms
 increased to between 60% and 80% in 2010. The
percentage
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 of those who were born in
towns
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 and rural
areas
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 in
Australia
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 20% and 30%, respectively, but the
percentage
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 of these two figures decreased to nearly 20% in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there were many
people
Use synonyms
 who were born in
cities
Use synonyms
 outside
Australia
Use synonyms
, 60% in 1995 and 80% in 2010. Surprisingly, the figures of
people
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 who were born in
towns
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 outside
Australia
Use synonyms
 were just the same as those in
Australia
Use synonyms
. There were
people
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 that were born in
towns
Use synonyms
 and rural
areas
Use synonyms
 around 10% and 40%, respectively, in 1995, and the
percentage
Use synonyms
 dramatically decreased to nearly 10% in 2010.
Submitted by ksonaset on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, areas, cities, percentage, towns with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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