The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The well-being of citizens is of paramount importance to each nation. It is believed that, in modern society, their health is increasingly worse. From my perspective,
although
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this
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opinion is convincing to a certain extent, I am against it because of the development of technology and the growth of income.
This
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essay will elaborate on my viewpoint. Perhaps for many standpoints is convincing because of several reasons.
First,
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the workload of workers exacerbates the lack of spare time. These days, employees are inundated with their tasks, so they
require
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are required
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to lead a sedentary lifestyle.
This
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is a reason why they are diagnosed with bone and eye problems.
Second,
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it is likely that pollution has adverse effects on the air breathed by civilians. A good example of
this
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is the standard of living in the big cities of impoverished nations, including Ho Chi Minh City. When workers commute to their workplaces, they are requested to encounter miserable condition and breathe noxious emission
that is
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discharged by means of transport. Despite the above valid argument, I still contend that
this
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is a wrong perspective.The most pertinent point is that the development of technology helps experts to invent new equipment to solve
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problem. A significant number of enterprises are driven by profits, so they immediately discover novel instruments
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as air-purifying machines. Another justification is that the increase in disposable income enables workers to have sufficient money to improve their health. In modern society, average compensation becomes accelerated.
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, citizens have more outgoings to purchase healthy food and sign up for sports courses. In conclusion, it is indisputable that not only does intensive workload deteriorate health, but environmental contamination
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has detrimental influences on
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.
However
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, all of them can more or less
solve
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be solved
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through technology gadgets and the remunerations of each person.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be more developed to provide a clearer framework for the essay.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons for your disagreement with the prompt and provide more specific examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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