IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with their co-workers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides. Give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #work #co-workers #life
Todays
Correct your spelling
Today
show examples
,
people
are spend
Change the verb form
are spending
show examples
 their free
time
 in many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 some might
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 it with
friemd
Correct your spelling
friends
friend
 or alone.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it mostly
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to depend on the
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that leisure
time
 we have as well to use it as
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
 as we have the
time
. In
this
 essay, I will give a reason
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both views and elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 point of view below. On the one hand, some
people
 love to use their free
time
 with other
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 to enjoy their
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
. There are certain types of
peole
Correct your spelling
people
decide
Correct pronoun usage
who decide
show examples
 to use
free
Add an article
the free
show examples
time
 with other
people
 by not staying alone to make
their
Change the pronoun
they
show examples
 feel more worthy and enjoy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
minutes
Change to a singular noun
minute
show examples
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the moment.
For instance
, extrovert
people
 might have a habit to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
 their free
time
to relax
Change the verb form
relaxing
show examples
themself
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
and it
recharge
Change the verb form
recharges
show examples
 better for them to
ready
Add a missing verb
be ready
show examples
 for work
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next day.
On the other hand
, various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 keep their free
time
 to be alone and enjoy themself to have a better feeling with it. Doing any
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 free
time
 alone
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 tons of
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a great feeling
by
Change preposition
about
show examples
 it and
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
 more effectively.
For example
,
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
people
 find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ways to enjoy themselves
individualy
Correct your spelling
individually
such
 as watching movies in their room or just
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
chilling
alnoe
Correct your spelling
alone
 in a
restuarant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
. In my opinion, we should
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 which activities to doing it along and which
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 we
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to enjoy with others to make it more
appreiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our free
time
. A good
examples
Correct the article-noun agreement
example
show examples
 is that reading
a fiction books
Correct the article-noun agreement
fiction books
a fiction book
show examples
 we might love to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 alone and going out to get some drinks or eat going with friends might be better options. In conclusion, both ways are good to spend our free
time
 on.
However
, it is better to know
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
what we need and which activities we want to
uase
Correct your spelling
use
 alone or with others to make leisure most useful.
Submitted by witchayutpie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: