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Band 5.5

Some people like to spend their leisure time after work with their co-workers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides. Give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #work #co-workers #life
Todays
Correct your spelling
Today
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,
people
are spend
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are spending
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 their free
time
 in many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 some might
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 it with
friemd
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friends
friend
 or alone.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it mostly
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to depend on the
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that leisure
time
 we have as well to use it as
effective
Change the word
effectively
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 as we have the
time
. In
this
 essay, I will give a reason
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both views and elaborate
my
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on my
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 point of view below. On the one hand, some
people
 love to use their free
time
 with other
persons
Replace the word
people
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 to enjoy their
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
. There are certain types of
peole
Correct your spelling
people
decide
Correct pronoun usage
who decide
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 to use
free
Add an article
the free
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time
 with other
people
 by not staying alone to make
their
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they
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 feel more worthy and enjoy
in
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apply
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every
minutes
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minute
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in
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at
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 the moment.
For instance
, extrovert
people
 might have a habit to
spent
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spend
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 their free
time
to relax
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relaxing
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themself
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apply
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and it
recharge
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recharges
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 better for them to
ready
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be ready
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 for work
in
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apply
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the next day.
On the other hand
, various
of
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apply
show examples
people
 keep their free
time
 to be alone and enjoy themself to have a better feeling with it. Doing any
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 free
time
 alone
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 tons of
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a great feeling
by
Change preposition
about
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 it and
fullfill
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their
liesure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
 more effectively.
For example
,
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
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people
 find
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ways to enjoy themselves
individualy
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individually
such
 as watching movies in their room or just
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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chilling
alnoe
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alone
 in a
restuarant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
. In my opinion, we should
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 which activities to doing it along and which
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 we
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to enjoy with others to make it more
appreiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our free
time
. A good
examples
Correct the article-noun agreement
example
show examples
 is that reading
a fiction books
Correct the article-noun agreement
fiction books
a fiction book
show examples
 we might love to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
 alone and going out to get some drinks or eat going with friends might be better options. In conclusion, both ways are good to spend our free
time
 on.
However
, it is better to know
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
what we need and which activities we want to
uase
Correct your spelling
use
 alone or with others to make leisure most useful.
Submitted by witchayutpie on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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