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Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about the following topic. Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #art #children #school #waste #time
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There is no denying that
art
 plays a pivotal role in the shaping of
creative
Correct article usage
a creative
show examples
 mindset among children. Some
people
 argue that pupils at school should focus on
subjects
such
 as biology and mathematics,
while
 others believe that
art
subjects
also
 should be included in
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
 curriculum. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explore both views and provide
Add an article
an opinion
the opinion
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
. On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
it is clear that
 learning science
subjects
 like biology,
math
Correct word choice
and math
show examples
 is significantly important to succeed in adulthood.
Furthermore
, many
people
 claim that children need to pay attention only
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 studying
subjects
 which
related
Add a missing verb
are related
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 technology, science,
engeneering
Correct your spelling
engineering
 or healthcare because they can help to improve
professional
Correct pronoun usage
their professional
show examples
 worth in the job market in future. These
people
 believe that students should not waste time and mental resources on acquiring skills which not lead to
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
 high-paying jobs.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 it is necessary to remember that
art
 teaches adolescents numerous useful skills and abilities namely creativity, problem-solving skill and stress resistance. These skills are crucial too in maturity which help to live
fullfilling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
 and happy life.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
according to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the latest research found that
people
 who studied
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
art
 classes in schools have
also
 high earnings
such
 as those who
didnt
Correct your spelling
didn't
. In conclusion, Undoubtedly
subjects
 which can be useful in the fields like
engeneering
Correct your spelling
engineering
, medicine and science are crucial.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
people
 should keep in mind the value of
art
.
Art
 provides
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
crucial abilities which enhance and broaden
Add an article
the mind
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 of children and give them more opportunities to make
this
 world wonderful.
Submitted by dias-orazbaev on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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