IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Health education is an essential aspect of commmunity health.Do you agree or disagree.

#health #education #aspect #commmunity
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It is argued that
health
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant part of our life and it helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
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 keep fit
people
Use synonyms
's
health
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. I completely agree with the statement. There are a number of reasons why I believe
health
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education
Use synonyms
 is important for everyone. One possible reason is that if
people
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 study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
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 science, they will know about
dangerous
Add an article
the dangerous
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disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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 (diabetes, heart attacks, blood pressure and so on) which will help to reduce those diseases. As
people
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 will avoid
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 works which are occurring these diseases. Another reason is that the
health
Use synonyms
education
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 subject will mitigate obesity because
people
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 will start
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
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 exercise. After
Wrong verb form
studying
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studies
Add a comma
,studies
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 it, individuals will understand that physical exercise helps to keep
body
Add an article
the body
show examples
 fit and fine
as well as
Linking Words
refreshes
Change the verb form
refresh
show examples
 our mind.
As a result
Linking Words
, the physical
work
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 will burn their extra fat and will balance their weight.
For example
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh physical teaching and
education
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 is
compulsory
Add an article
a compulsory
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 subject which is why 80% of students'
health
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 problems are solved and
also
Linking Words
 decrease sickness.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health
Use synonyms
education
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 helps to boost
Correct article usage
the country
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country
Change noun form
country's
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 development because
people
Use synonyms
 will avoid unhealthy
life's
Change noun form
lives
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 and will take healthy food
such
Linking Words
 as vegetables ,
fruits
Correct word choice
and fruits
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,
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
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diet
Correct article usage
a diet
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 chart and so on which is why they can easily focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
 will
energetic
Correct article usage
an energetic
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 and calm mind .
For instance
Linking Words
, The Daily Star newspaper published America is
the
Correct article usage
a
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development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
 country because of its
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
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 hard
work
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 and most employees like to do exercises for increasing the concentration of
thir
Correct your spelling
their
work
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, it will increase a person's longevity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most
people
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 will follow
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
a health
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 routine and will not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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do which are not good for their
health
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.
For example
Linking Words
, in
India
Add a comma
,India
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 60% of
people
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 tend to avoid to take smoke by reading
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health conscious
Add a hyphen
health-conscious
show examples
 articles which
helps
Change the verb form
help
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 to drop untimely death. In conclusion, considering the factors discussed. I believe
health
Use synonyms
education
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 is necessary for
people
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's lives and it is a blessing for their
health
Use synonyms
progession
Correct your spelling
progression
.
Submitted by opshorajhumpa2001 on

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