IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More young people are now interested in becoming professional athletes than ever before. Is this a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, there is no doubt that a lot of young
people
Use synonyms
 want to become professional
sportsmans
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
show examples
, but not all
people
Use synonyms
 consider that it is a good idea. In my point of view, big success in a sport is an amazing target for kids because it will help them develop their bodies and promote a healthy lifestyle. On the one side, sports activities are a good opportunity to be not only fit and healthy, but
also
Linking Words
 help them to build a strong character.
Moreover
Linking Words
, professional
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 teach
people
Use synonyms
 how to be successful because athletes spend a lot of their time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 various competitions.
For example
Linking Words
, it is known that Maria Sharapova, a famous tennis player from the Russian Federation, had serious problems with her health, but she solved them and became a winner in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of championships. On the other side, professional sportsmen are good examples because they may inspire
people
Use synonyms
 to lead an active lifestyle.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, an active way of life is a good base to prevent a lot of diseases,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
caused by
hypodynamia
Correct your spelling
hyperdynamic
.
Thus
Linking Words
, professional athletes can prevent the epidemic of obesity and heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
. It is believed that after the "Olympic games" interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 sports activities rises significantly all around the world. 
To sum up
Linking Words
, in my point of view, increasing the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who want to become professional
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
show examples
 among young
people
Use synonyms
 is a good thing because it is useful for their character and may
also
Linking Words
 help to change the lives of other
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: