IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and towns leaving only young people in the countryside’s. What problems are caused by this issue ? what can be done to solve this situation

Some young people are leaving the country side to live in cities and towns leaving only young people in the countryside’s. What problems are caused by this issue ? what can be done to solve this situation
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Most
people
Use synonyms
 rely on
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who read
books
Use synonyms
 .Can evolve more contemplation and
language
Use synonyms
 skills than those who prefer to watch
TV
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion learning
language
Use synonyms
 is
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 than watching
TV
Use synonyms
. The first advantage
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 get both financial and spiritual benefits by reading
books
Use synonyms
 and learning languages. If they use that completely. Reading a book is more interesting
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 watching
TV
Use synonyms
. Through
books
Use synonyms
, a person's
world view
Correct your spelling
worldview
show examples
 and knowledge
grows
Correct subject-verb agreement
grow
show examples
. I trust it .Nowadays ,knowledge of a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 has become a world demand.
For example
Linking Words
, if we want to get a job somewhere we definitely need a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 certificate.
Secondly
Linking Words
, watching
TV
Use synonyms
 is harmful to health. The light coming from the is
demeged
Correct your spelling
damaged
 to the person.
For instance
Linking Words
, rays have a negative effect on brain activity and our eyes. Causing damage to the nervous system. The circulatory system in the brain deteriorates which causes a person to become nervous.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that reading
books
Use synonyms
 and foreign
Use synonyms
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 is more beneficial than watching
TV
Use synonyms
 because it makes
people
Use synonyms
 happy and motivated.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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