Write about the following topic. Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I disagree with
this
statement.
Advance
Replace the word
Advanced
show examples
technology
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a double-edged sword. Modern
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
to be
Change the adjective
strictly
show examples
strict
Replace the word
strictly
show examples
regulated and we have to have
Correct article usage
a carefull
show examples
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
carefully
and reasonable attitude
for
Change preposition
toward
show examples
it and
realizing
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
all possible consequences. Without all ticks in the
boxes
Add a comma
,boxes
show examples
it could create
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
for our society.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
nuclear power
technology
potentially is
letal
Correct your spelling
legal
for all humanity but for a lot of countries like France,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
and Russia it is mass using
technology
and now is quite safe but in 20-30 years
amomic
Correct your spelling
atomic
anomic
energetic will be one of the most ecological and safe
technology
and
possible
Add an article
the possible
show examples
main way to create energy for some
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
and it is possible because we respect
this
technology
and got world wide regulation and control for it. Negative
expirince
Correct your spelling
experience
experiences
of modern
technology
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in Paris in 2020 they give an
oppotinity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
for electro scooter companies to start
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
for sharing electro
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
and potential
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
help
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
to reduce traffic and
polutation
Correct your spelling
pollution
population
. But
result
Add an article
the result
show examples
was different without regulation and control disadvantages outweigh the advantages a lot of people were injured piles of scoters were scattered
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
all Paris. People didn’t stick to the rules of using and after 2 years of using Paris governor cancel
this
program
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
if I were here I would do the same.
Withour
Correct your spelling
With our
Without
modern
technology
we don’t have any chance to continue our existence but there's not a big rush we need to be really
carefull
Correct your spelling
careful
and if
technology
could have potential harm we have to prevent potential harm and before mass
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
create rules, protection and regulation.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: