IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#function #music #people #stress
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There are various ways to deal with stress or depression, and listening to tune is one of the most effective cures for anxiety. I totally agree with the positive effect of sound on the mood because it not only helps to clear the mind but
also
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could remind
Wrong verb form
reminds
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 us of bright moments from the past. There is clear evidence that melody could distract and decrease day-to-day productivity.
Although
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, it might be true,
however
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, music could help to stop thinking and relax.
Therefore
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, stressful ideas that bother are forgotten and replaced by new thoughts.
For example
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, many universities around the world use calm and relaxing tones in libraries in order to motivate their students and help them deal with their studies along the way.
Secondly
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, despite the fact that there is a lot of dark and depressing rock in the industry, it still could be associated with old bright memories.
This
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 is the natural mechanism of our brain to connect the dots and link the tune that we hear around us with the event
that is
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 happening.
As a result
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, music associated with joyful events acts as a trigger for a good mood and might distract from a burden.
For instance
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, one of the treatments in psychology is to play beats of different genres to help the patient
to
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apply
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find different moments from the past that may give a clue on how to deal with the mental problem. In conclusion, the best way to deal with stress is to change a point of view in order to relax and
then
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 come back to the issue that bothers with fresh ideas. I agree that melody is the best distractor because it
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 remind
of
Correct pronoun usage
one of
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 some positive memories from the past.
Submitted by daulettbot on

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task response
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more clearly, with a stronger and more explicit introduction and conclusion.
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