IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is claimed that
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 is beneficial in terms of socialization,
however
Linking Words
, can be harmful as a source of
an
Correct article usage
apply
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information
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. Personally, I believe that
Internet
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 has
good
Add an article
a good
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 impact on
communication
Correct article usage
the communication
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 of
people
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 but can be unreliable as a source of
information
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.
Internet
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 – is a great tool to communicate with other
people
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. Because of its cucesiablity and convenience, it is easy to get in touch with other
people
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.
Messangers
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Messengers
such
Linking Words
 as Whatsapp, telegram and
virto
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Virto
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does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not require a lot of time to exchange
information
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. With the help of several
buttons
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,buttons
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 users can share both good and bad news.
Moreover
Linking Words
, taking into consideration social
medias
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media
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 which can develop one’s personality and identity by sharing personal thoughts, music and photos. Statistics provided by UNESCO has shown that 63 % of adolescents and young
people
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 prefer online communication and social
medias
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media
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 rather
face-to face
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face-to-face
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 interaction because of its convenience. That said,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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 is not the best way to find
information
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 because of several reasons. First of all, it is widely known that most of the
information
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 online
are
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is
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 written by usual
people
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 without any university degree.
However
Linking Words
, articles should be written by professors with doctorate degrees, for that reason, it is dangerous to believe
to
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apply
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articles
in
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on
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worldwide
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the worldwide
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 web.
Also
Linking Words
, because of increasingly more amount of wars and protest some individuals can write fake
information
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 in order to make
people
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 believe their point of view, which can have
detrimental
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a detrimental
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 effect on users, as they can easily believe any
information
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 on
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Internet
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the Internet
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that
Internet
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 has both good and bad
effecton
Correct your spelling
effect on
effects on
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people
Change preposition
on people
show examples
, as it can improve communication but can
provided
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provide
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 unreliable
information
Use synonyms

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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