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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.

The chart and table below give information about healthcare resources and life expectancy in different countries.
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The first bar graph indicates the number of hospital beds per thousand of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and the second table one gives information on the
expetiture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 of Governments and average
life
Use synonyms
expectacy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
 in three
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
counties
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Japan
Use synonyms
 allocates the largest amount of beds to patients followed by Germany. With regards to spending, the government of the United
states
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
 spends the biggest amount of budget on health care
while
Linking Words
 it has the shortest
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy.
According to
Linking Words
 the first graph,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Japan
Use synonyms
 accounts for the largest population recording 14 thousand, which is nearly three times as large as other countries
except
Add the preposition
forexcept
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 Germany at 8
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
. The third largest figure is
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 marking around 4.2 thousand but the gap between it and that for
spain
Change the capitalization
Spain
show examples
 which is the smallest is quite narrow. Looking at the second table, we can see that the spending of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 health
comprise
Correct subject-verb agreement
comprises
show examples
 the largest size at 6,719$ despite the shortest
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy at 78. It is approximately twice larger
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
. When it comes to the figure for
Japan
Use synonyms
, it showed a reverse trend with
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Correct your spelling
States
show examples
.
Japan
Use synonyms
 spend 2,581$ per person which is the smallest and the figure for
Japan
Use synonyms
's average
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy is 83 which is the longest in
this
Linking Words
 table.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • healthcare resources
  • life expectancy
  • per capita
  • modern medical equipment
  • correlate
  • accessibility
  • average lifespan
  • healthcare policies
  • government healthcare spending
  • disparities
  • developed countries
  • developing countries
  • global health inequalities
  • technological advancements
  • telemedicine
  • AI diagnostics
  • health outcomes
  • public health initiatives
  • vaccination programs
  • preventive healthcare
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