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Band 5

Some people think the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend else where To what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #government #money #arts
A fair portion of people think that the authority is wasting
money
 on arts and that
this
money
 could
be spend
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be spent
show examples
 better
elsewhere
This
 essay intends to analyse
allocation
Add an article
the allocation
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 of
money
 to various
sector
 is best rather than investing in
art
 I firmly agree with the statement To commence with, the authority can spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
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valuable
money
 to
enfrastructure
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infrastructure
 facilities to boost
economy
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the economy
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. To be clearer, the
through
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apply
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this
 investment
it
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apply
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 the
citiyens
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citizens
 to have a better standard of living without any difficulties
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, as well as smooth functioning of the economy,
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as well as
smooth
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the smooth
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 functioning of the
economy
 can
also
done
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be done
do
show examples
.
For instance
, most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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nations are massively spending amount
in
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on
show examples
 infrastructure development to attain
number
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the number
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 one position in the whole world
thus
,
government
 spend
money
 on
these development
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this development
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 rather than
art
 because the
government
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government's
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 main revenue generation is through
tax payers
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taxpayers
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. Yet another point to be noted is that
,
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apply
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administration
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the administration
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need
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needs
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 to spend
money
to
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on
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education
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the education
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sector
 and
medical
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the medical
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sector
 On top of that,
government
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the government
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 should spend
money
 to pump up new business To be precise, the
government
 can make the
economy
 more stable
while
 giving basic facilities and
the
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apply
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job opportunities.
For instance
, India is
Correct your spelling
heavily
heavely
Correct your spelling
heavily
 spending
money
to
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on
show examples
 these facilities to make
the
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apply
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people
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people's
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life
Replace the word
live
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 more fruitful
Hence
,
the
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apply
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improve the standard of living
However
, tourism
hold
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holds
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main
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the main
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 part of the
economy
, the regime
need
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needs
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 to allocate some amount of
money
 to develop
the
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apply
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art
 because through these
art
 forms culture is highlighted
Apart from
this
, the pumping of
money
to
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into
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these
Change the determiner
this sector
these sectors
show examples
sector
 may improve the tourism industry
To sum up
,
although
 few people convey that spending
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
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art
 forms by the
government
 I believe
government
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the government
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 need to spend
money
to
Change preposition
on
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other
Change the wording
another sector
other sectors
show examples
sector
Submitted by amilingeorge12345 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
What to do next:
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