IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over global
holidays
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 the backbone industry all around the world, which brings
tension
instead
 of helping
tourists
 absorb knowledge from different
cultures
. From my perspective, I would consider myself
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an advocate of
this
 idea. Without a shadow of a doubt, global
holidays
 can broaden the horizon of
tourists
 about distinct
cultures
. Visiting other
cultures
 around the world can help
tourists
 better understand the culture they come from and discover the native
people
 in their place.
For instance
, Viet Nam is a nation with a multi-ethnic country, specifically 54 ethnic groups, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
visiting these
people
 will help foreigners understand their character, customs or their culture.
Hence
, when
tourists
 come over to other nations whose culture is as different as chalk and cheese, they can learn various things about the
people
 there and gain more understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
cultures
.
While
 the redeeming feature of international tourism is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the opposite of it is ignored, especially when global
holidays
 can bring
tension
. In my viewpoint, international
holidays
 can bring
tension
 to the native
people
 and act as a precursor for the local economy.
For instance
, If too many
foreign
Replace the word
foreigners
show examples
 come to the tourism area,
although
 it may boost the service industry, some aspects may be affected
such
 as heritage preservation or traditional occupations being lost and threatening the income of local citizens.
Hence
,
holidays
 from foreigners can bring
tension
 to native residents.
To sum up
, even though international travel can help them get to know
people
 from other
cultures
, it can
also
 bring stress to locals in some aspects.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: