IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over global
holidays
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 the backbone industry all around the world, which brings
tension
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instead
Linking Words
 of helping
tourists
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 absorb knowledge from different
cultures
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. From my perspective, I would consider myself
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an advocate of
this
Linking Words
 idea. Without a shadow of a doubt, global
holidays
Use synonyms
 can broaden the horizon of
tourists
Use synonyms
 about distinct
cultures
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. Visiting other
cultures
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 around the world can help
tourists
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 better understand the culture they come from and discover the native
people
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 in their place.
For instance
Linking Words
, Viet Nam is a nation with a multi-ethnic country, specifically 54 ethnic groups, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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visiting these
people
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 will help foreigners understand their character, customs or their culture.
Hence
Linking Words
, when
tourists
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 come over to other nations whose culture is as different as chalk and cheese, they can learn various things about the
people
Use synonyms
 there and gain more understanding
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
cultures
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.
While
Linking Words
 the redeeming feature of international tourism is widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the opposite of it is ignored, especially when global
holidays
Use synonyms
 can bring
tension
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. In my viewpoint, international
holidays
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 can bring
tension
Use synonyms
 to the native
people
Use synonyms
 and act as a precursor for the local economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, If too many
foreign
Replace the word
foreigners
show examples
 come to the tourism area,
although
Linking Words
 it may boost the service industry, some aspects may be affected
such
Linking Words
 as heritage preservation or traditional occupations being lost and threatening the income of local citizens.
Hence
Linking Words
,
holidays
Use synonyms
 from foreigners can bring
tension
Use synonyms
 to native residents.
To sum up
Linking Words
, even though international travel can help them get to know
people
Use synonyms
 from other
cultures
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, it can
also
Linking Words
 bring stress to locals in some aspects.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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