IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given chart depicts data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how families used to
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 weekly
income
Use synonyms
 between 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that the highest amount of money was spent buying food,
additionaly
Correct your spelling
additionally
 the incomes spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 household goods remained stable during the given timeframe, we can
also
Linking Words
 see that fuel and
ower
Correct your spelling
power
show examples
 was the lowest
income
Use synonyms
 presented in all
period
Use synonyms
 given.
Initially
Linking Words
 in 1968,
while
Linking Words
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 was the highest
income
Use synonyms
 according
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 35% it changed, being responsible for just 17% in 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, housing
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 represented
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
10% in 1968, showed a slight increase during the time
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
, consisting
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 almost 20% in 2018.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Household goods, started the
period
Use synonyms
 comprehending
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 10%,
stabilized
Correct word choice
and stabilized
show examples
 over the years until 2018.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 1968, the
income
Use synonyms
 spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 leisure was just 9%, suffering
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 increase during the
period
Use synonyms
, achieving almost 23% in 2018. In summary, it is possible to confirm that there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
 in some basic incomes
while
Linking Words
 others
fews
Correct your spelling
few
 remained stable during the
period
Use synonyms
 given.
Submitted by Nayara on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words income, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • proportion
  • weekly income
  • accounted for
  • total expenditure
  • housing and utility expenses
  • transportation costs
  • other expenses
  • education
  • healthcare
  • leisure activities
  • spending patterns
  • witnessed a considerable rise
  • experienced a substantial increase
  • allocating a larger proportion
  • reducing their expenditure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: