Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Before
medicine
was introduced in the 18th century, humans resolve
on other ways of healing like leaches removing toxins or using Wrong verb form
resolved
posion
to cure Correct your spelling
poison
position
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
sickness
.Nowadays ,some people tend to Fix the agreement mistake
sicknesses
alternative
medicines and treatments rather visiting
their usual doctor's subscription .In my opinion, the disadvantage outweighs Change preposition
than visiting
Add an article
the advantage
advantage
of using traditional Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
medicine
.In this
essay
I'll try to discuss the pros and cons.
On one hand,Add a comma
essay,
instead
of modern medicine
, some of them use traditional drugs like herbs,dry leaves/tree barks
and dry mushrooms. Fix the agreement mistake
bark
Although
this
could be a sufficient way for recovery, but
research Remove the conjunction
apply
shown
some cases could leadAdd a missing verb
has shown
a
person's health in a Change preposition
to a
not positive
way,from side effects to allergic Correct word choice
negative
reaction
.
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
On the other hand
, the many reasons for some people usually don't go to doctors .For
Change preposition
Alternative
alternative
medicines,there're environmental
friendly but come with risks. Pharmaceutical plants are using harmful chemicals which has Change the word
environmentally
an
harmful effect Change the article
a
to
the environment and Change preposition
on
included
tax Wrong verb form
include
to
the drugs Change preposition
on
selling itself
. The main Wrong verb form
sold
reasons
is that Fix the agreement mistake
reason
alternative
medicine
are
cheaper than Change the verb form
is
the
regular treatment rather Correct article usage
apply
going
to a pharmacy to afford drugs but with tax included
In Correct word choice
than going
an
nutshell, the Change the article
a
alternative
treatment will apear
for someone who wants to use long term but modernized Correct your spelling
appear
medicine
will revolutionize and older treatment will be a thing in the past and people will believed
it more than Change the verb form
believe
the
past they use to be.Change preposition
in the
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure. Ideas should be organized into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that express the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, but they are not effective. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your position, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position in different words.
coherence cohesion
The main points are not well supported. Each point should be followed by explanations or examples to substantiate the argument.
task achievement
While you have addressed the task, the response is incomplete. A well-developed response requires a balanced discussion of both views or a strong argument supporting one view, with a clear conclusion.
task achievement
The ideas presented are not clear and comprehensive. Clarity could be improved by organizing ideas more logically and using a range of sentence structures and vocabulary.
task achievement
Specific examples are scarce and not fully relevant. Including more detailed and pertinent examples would enhance the argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.