While mobile phones have many advantages, a number of problems have also resulted from them or the way in which they are used. What are some of these problems? What solutions can you suggest for solving these problems?
Even though
,
mobile Remove the comma
apply
phones
have many benefits, there are some resulting problems because of using phones
that cannot be ignored. In this
essay, I will outline some of the reasons that have contributed to this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
as well as
some solutions.
On the one hand, a serious illness because of using phones
is poor sight. Our phones
are our true friends in today's world, and we utilize them most of the time
. This
way of using phones
weakens our eyes' muscles,
and causes poor sight. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, mobile phones
waste our time
. Most people
use
phones
over
5 hours a day. The usage of our Change preposition
for over
phones
is not for calling and texting as before, but we use
phones
for watching movies, surfing the internet and keeping in touch with our family and friends. If we do not manage our
Change the word
the
time
that we use
the phone, this
object can waste our whole time
.
On the other hand
, governments must teach to
Change preposition
apply
people
how they can use
the
Correct article usage
apply
phones
properly. It can hold workshops for adults and teach at the
schools for younger Correct article usage
apply
people
. When people
know how they can use
their phones
for attaining their goals, they manage their usage time
of the phones
. In addition
, governments should pass strict rules for socializing with people
who are below the age of 18 in
Change preposition
on
the
social Correct article usage
apply
medias
. Most users of Correct your spelling
media
phones
are under twenties
and they can be Change the article
the twenties
a
great bait for Correct article usage
apply
exploiting
. A serious issue that worries parents is to abuse Replace the word
exploitation
their
children in the Change preposition
of their
cyber space
and because of Correct your spelling
cyberspace
this
reason they control their children strictly, but it is not enough. We also
need to control the other side of conversation
to protect the future generation from misusing. Add an article
the conversation
This
control conserves young people
from potential
dangers of Correct article usage
the potential
cyber space
.
In conclusion, in spite of the fact that mobile Correct your spelling
cyberspace
phones
have many advantages, their drawbacks can not be overlooked. Poor sight and wasting time
are serious problems of
Change preposition
with
phones
, and government must educate people
how
they can Change preposition
on how
use
the
Correct article usage
apply
phones
appropriately and who
they can speak to.Change the pronoun
whom
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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