Now a day the surveillance is happening at almost all public places. Is it good or perceived bad by people? What are advantages and disadvantages?

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With technological advancement and artificial
intelligence
Add a comma
,intelligence

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the system is becoming stronger and
secure
Correct quantifier usage
more secure

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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. Whether
surveillance
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

systems is constructive
and
Correct word choice
or

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destructive approach is
highly
Correct article usage
a highly

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debated topic these days. There are several advantages and disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to

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this
Linking Words

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statement. One evident merit is having installed cameras
at
Change preposition
in

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public places
promote
Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes

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the
Correct article usage
a

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secure environment.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because these cameras are helping
administration
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the administration

The noun phrase administration seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to keep
the
Correct article usage
a

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record of unwanted thefts and crimes.
For
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

example
Add a comma
,example

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example
Remove the redundancy
apply

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,
American
Correct article usage
the American

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police in 2010, was able to
found
Wrong verb form
find

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a gang of 10 people who were involved in different crimes with the help of these cameras that were present in
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens

It seems that garden may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, malls and on the streets. Another auspicious side of having
surveillance
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on traffic lights is to track the people who
violates
Change the verb form
violate

The singular verb violates does not appear to agree with the plural subject the people. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the traffic rules.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helps Government to promise
the
Correct article usage
apply

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safety by preventing
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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road side accidents by strict watch by
these camera
Change the determiner
this camera
these cameras

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun camera. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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all the time.
Apart from
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in India it is not common to express
the
Correct article usage
apply

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feeling in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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public,
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

these activities are restricted and
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb enhancing. Consider changing it.

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the obedient culture of
country
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the country
a country

The noun phrase country seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are some obvious drawbacks as well that cannot be ignored.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
surveillance
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras

It seems that camera may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are not accurate every time.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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technological breakdown or wrong interpretations may release a wrong message to the public.
Secondly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is
threat
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the threat
a threat

The noun phrase threat seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of data leaking which may hinder someone’s privacy and safety. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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accept that there are
few
Correct article usage
a few

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demerits of having
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

surveillance
Correct article usage
a surveillance

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems

It seems that system may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and can
bệ
Correct your spelling
be

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strength by improving
thẻ
Correct your spelling
the

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systems. I believe it
os
Correct your spelling
is

The word os doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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constructive
Correct article usage
a constructive

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approach
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

various benefits.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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