in many countries today, if people want to find a job , they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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it is true that more and more

people

Use synonyms

have the tendency

of moving

Change preposition

to move

show examples

away from their family members and friends to other areas in order to have more opportunities in work. personally, I hold the belief that the benefits of

this

Linking Words

trend are overshadowed by its drawbacks. on the one hand, the potential advantages of

this

Linking Words

tendency need to be taken into consideration. it is worth mentioning that migrating to new regions helps

people

Use synonyms

to get out of their comfort zones because they can broaden their horizons significantly about other cultures and traditions

as well as

Linking Words

enlarge their social circles.

moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can find a variety of occupations with well-paid salaries in metropolitan areas, which would satisfy their high demand.

for example

Linking Words

, in Vietnam, youngsters often decide to move to

ha noi

Correct your spelling

Ha Noi

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ho chi minh city

Correct your spelling

Ho Chi Minh City

show examples

without their parents because of the availability of jobs.

consequently

Linking Words

, they have not only a better standard of living but

also

Linking Words

stable jobs.

on the other hand

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that the trend of moving away from families and friends has certain negative impacts on

people

Use synonyms

firstly

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

are under pressure

of working

Change preposition

to work

show examples

, so they need encouragement from their parents and acquaintances to have more motivation to work.

As a result

Linking Words

, the lack of families is likely to lead to mental problems,

such

Linking Words

as depression, which would affect adversely their

overall

Linking Words

well-being.

furthermore

Linking Words

, financial

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a crucial role, especially with youngsters. without assistance from parents, they are unable to pay a myriad of high bills in urban areas, so these

people

Use synonyms

may need to live in impoverished conditions. in conclusion, I am of the opinion that the merits of

this

Linking Words

development are eclipsed by its demerits.

therefore

Linking Words

, it is advisable for

people

Use synonyms

to keep in touch with their families and friends frequently to ensure their physical and mental health.

bobong120906Sat Apr 22 2023

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task response

Ensure that the examples used are relevant and specific to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow of your ideas and ensure that each paragraph relates clearly to the overall topic.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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in many countries today, if people want to find a job , they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this.

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There are fewer controls over the designs and construction of home and office buildings. So, people can build them however they like. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.