Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Nowadays, using mobile

phones

is a large proportion of

kids

' daily

life

, and some people argue that they spend too much time enjoying experiences in real

life

themselves. From my perspective, I believe that technological device use has advantages and disadvantages. In

this

essay, I will present both views and conclusions with my personal opinion. With the development of time, not only adults but

also

kids

need mobile

phones

to connect their

life

For example

, education for children these days

rely

Correct subject-verb agreement

relies

show examples

on digital resources and online learning,

kids

search for knowledge on the Internet and can watch over and over again if they are misunderstood.

In addition

, online social media allows

kids

easy to discuss with their teacher and friends in virtual meetings.

Furthermore

, they can link other related information spread their views from the Internet, and not just gain the message for the school.

On the other hand

, someone who is concerned about

kids

addicted to mobile

phones

would lead them astray. If

kids

are only interested in social applications, they usually show that they fear missing out on the information online. It causes them to be anxious and despread because of enormous beautiful images and good

life

sharing.

Nevertheless

kids

desire to belong among friends, and if they are not catch up with the famous topic on the Internet, will be isolated from the group.

To sum up

kids

spending much time using mobile

phones

can be more advantageous, but it

also

needs to be balanced in their real

life

to keep mental health.

Submitted by miriam3388 on Sat Apr 22 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

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