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Writing Samples
Band 9

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today's world, a huge number of jobs other than requesting enough
skills
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 in the main
subject
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, require basic knowledge about another
subject
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.
This
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 trend has made the
students
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 want to study additional subjects in universities.
Although
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 others think they must concentrate on their main major and it prevents them from focusing 100% on their
subject
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, in my opinion, it is a necessity to learn today's job requirements to enter the workplace more easily.
To begin
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 with, what is an advantage for
students
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 in the workplace is having another skill related to their main ability which able them to focus on the work which most people are not able to do. It gives them more job opportunities and a higher chance of finding suitable work.
For instance
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, with the advances in technology, a noticeable number of works require computer
skills
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 which forces
students
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 to learn them through their study.
On the contrary
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, some individuals' concern is that student's performance in their main major might be bred by the minor course. It can result in a lack of
skills
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 in the main major and a huge loss in the future as well.
Moreover
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, the minor
subject
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 may be completely irrelevant in their future and all the efforts they put in might be time-wasting for them.
For example
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, today, learning fundamentals of AI is meaningfully popular among
students
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 because of the huge advertisement
however
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, most of them will not use it in the future and they just miss their chance to improve themselves in relevant required
skills
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 in their job.
To conclude
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, it is argued among people whether studying a minor
subject
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 in university is an effective plan or not. In my opinion, it gives them an advantage in the workplace
while
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 some individuals believe it is highly likely a waste of time and they should focus on their main
subject
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.

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Task Achievement
You adeptly discussed both viewpoints, providing a balanced and well-considered discussion.
Task Achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, which help to illustrate and support the main points effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and bookend the essay effectively, giving the reader a clear sense of the essay's structure and argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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