Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
There is an argument that
advertisements
related to young children
should not be telecast
on TV. In my opinion, I radically disagree with the notion that these Verb problem
broadcast
advertisements
should be banned because not only they
educate Add a missing verb
do they
people
but also
help children
make careers.
First and foremost, the most predominant inducement for believing that the promotion of products which include children
of
Change preposition
aged
age
2 to 5 should not be stopped because through these advertisements
companies promote baby's products. To be more specific, scores of products are launched day by day and including younger children
in the advertisements
helps a company to convey the process of how a particular product is used. Hence
, this
enhances the knowledge of people
. For example
, Tim Copper, from Sheffield Hallam University in the UK, concluded according to
his research in 2020 that not only develop trust between the companies and parents beside this
parents provide healthier goods and services to their children
which helps them in growth.
Moving on, another worth favouring point is that if small children
present any relevant advertisement, this
helps them to find out their interest at an earlier stage. This
is because promotions on television also
increase the fame of a person due to
numerous daily soaps hiring young children
for a particular role and children
start making money at a very early age
. Through ,this
they make their career and become a successful person. To epitomise, The Times published yesteryear that a famous actress name
Zarin purchased a lavish house at the Replace the word
named
age
of 12 to 14 and this
only happens
because ,from earlier childhood, she performed in a myriadWrong verb form
happened
Change preposition
of
advertisements
.
Paradoxically, some people
do not like this
proposal and condemn it. As they perhaps think that at the age
of 2 to 5 children
only learn some basic etiquette rather than involving in any social matter. So, it can be inferred why they stand on another side with different thoughts, despite their role develop
various skills namely communication, social Wrong verb form
in developing
also
boosts confidence at an earlier stage.
In conclusion, giving roles to children
at the age
of 2-5 is helping them in their development. Although
few people
say that this
age
for learning social manners, I tend to perceive that, educating new parents and career succession at an early stage are beneficial concepts due to
the I am in the favour of including children
in advertisements
.Submitted by parvinderp93 on
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task response
The essay shows a clear understanding of the prompt and presents arguments to support the opinion. However, the response could be more focused and directly address the specific reasons and examples outlined in the prompt. It would be beneficial to structure the essay according to the task requirements.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates adequate coherence and cohesion, with a logical progression of ideas within paragraphs. However, there is a lack of clear introduction and conclusion that would frame the essay more effectively. Improve the use of cohesive devices to connect ideas more explicitly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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