Some businesses now say that no one can smoke cigarettes in their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in public places. Overall this is a very good idea. To what extent do you agree?

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In the past, people used to smoke everywhere without any restrictions, nowadays, smoking has been prohibited in many offices, and in public places by some governments.

This

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development represents a significant step for our society and I agree with it.

To begin

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with, cigarettes affect negatively our

life

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lives

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. Smoking leads to a lot of major diseases,

such

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as asthma, cancer, heart attack, and pulmonary diseases.

Therefore

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, the number of diseases is increasing considerably

also

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for the passive ones.

According to

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recent research provided by British scientists, smoke exposure contributes to approximately 41,000 deaths among non-smoking adults and 400 deaths in infants each year. Children who are exposed to smoke are at increased risk for sudden infant death syndrome and acute respiratory infections.

Furthermore

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, the government should ban and prohibit smoking in public places, offices, and even near children.

Secondly

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, the business of cigarettes brings numerous economic benefits to

companies

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and the national economy. Despite the best efforts of the

tobacco

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control community, it continues to kill millions of people each year.

Moreover

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tobacco

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companies

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need to maintain their position in markets so that they continue to sell their products and

hence

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earn profits for their owners.

For instance

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, the world’s six largest cigarette manufacturers made profits of more than $55 billion, which is more than the combined profits of Coca-Cola, Nestle, FedEx, and Starbucks.

Thus

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, the government should ban

tobacco

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companies

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which leads to morbidity and death of numerous numbers of people. In conclusion, cigarettes are

Rephrase

apply

show examples

harmful to our society and

tobacco

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companies

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should be prohibited in the whole world.

cristi.corceacSat Apr 22 2023

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coherence cohesion

Provide a clear position in the introduction and a summary in the conclusion to improve coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Ensure that all ideas directly relate to the question prompt and provide more specific examples and statistics to support the arguments.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Some businesses now say that no one can smoke cigarettes in their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in public places. Overall this is a very good idea. To what extent do you agree?

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