IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

17 Many people use social media every day to get in touch with other people and obtain the news. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages? (MEDIA)

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It is said that there are numerous platforms available for social networks to update themselves with the happenings around the world. In my opinion, they should use social websites to connect with the communities around them. In
this
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 essay, I will hand down several benefits of using social applications followed by their disadvantages. On the one hand, the main issue with the advantage of using social sites is eliminating the barriers to communication between
people
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 caused
due to
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 distance.
Also
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, introverts using social networks to link with each other is one of the values that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 them in many ways.
Moreover
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, individuals can update themselves with the latest news that has been trending in the world.
For instance
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, there are a lot of applications that help connect
people
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 with similar interests and provide different
various
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apply
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skill sets used across life today.
On the other hand
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, overuse of social media platforms can lead to the waste of valuable time, which could be used more effectively at work.
Furthermore
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, it has become increasingly common for
people
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 to live a life of technological development;
therefore
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 the cybercrime rate has increased significantly in the past few years.
For example
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, recently, some
people
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 were robbed by fake profiles on the internet. There is no doubt that criminals of online theft of personal information are becoming more and more serious
consequently
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 these platforms need to be verified to avoid the loss or theft of personal information online. In
the
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a
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 nutshell, if used carefully, social media can help find things suitable for each person.
By contrast
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, it can lead to a severe loss of time and maybe money with irrational use.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. It should consist of an introduction, body paragraphs with individual main points, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should connect smoothly to the next to guide the reader through your argumentations.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are essential for framing your essay. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement, while the conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your position. Both need to be more clearly defined and impactful.
task achievement
Support your points with clear, specific, and relevant examples. Vague statements and generalized examples do not demonstrate strong analytical or critical thinking skills.
task achievement
Be sure to offer a complete response to the question by fully addressing all parts of the task. This includes discussing both sides of the argument if the question requires it and giving your own opinion. Remain focused on the question throughout your essay to achieve this.
task achievement
Strive for clear and comprehensive ideas that contribute effectively to your overall argument. Ensure that these ideas are relevant to the question and add value to your position on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immediacy
  • revolutionized
  • digestible
  • facilitating
  • niche communities
  • overreliance
  • misinformation
  • privacy concerns
  • decreased face-to-face interactions
  • perceive
  • readily available
  • implications
  • traditional forms of communication
  • outlets
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