The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#graphs #procedures #males #females #korea #summaries #information #features #comparisons

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To begin

, the bar charts illustrate the cosmetic methods performed on Korean

men

and

women

in 2004. Eyelid surgery was the most popular process among

women

while

most

men

preferred hair transplantation.

Overall

, cosmetic operations were more popular among

women

in Korea than

men

in 2004.

Firstly

, the least famous surgeries were liposuction and facelift among females and males respectively. Rhinoplasty and laser skin resurfacing were performed on both genders.

Moreover

, the number of rhinoplasty surgeries performed on

women

was about five times higher than that of

men

whereas

, the number of laser skin surfing processes conducted on

men

was about four times lesser than that of

women

Furthermore

, breast enlargement was the second least famous surgery among

women

in 2004 which was around 150.

Additionally

, facelift and abdominoplasty methods were the lowest-performed operations in

men

where both showed values lower than 20.The count of eyelid surgeries received by

women

in 2004 was more than five times greater than that of the hair transplantation procedures tested on

men

Submitted by vishvaisuranga on Sun Apr 23 2023

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

168 words

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The graphs below compare the number of cosmetic procedures performed on males and females in Korea in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In today's world, many people use mobile phones and the Internet to communicate with others. This has resulted in the use of new words and different forms of spelling and grammar. Are they a positive or negative development?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.