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Band 2

There are other times that you prefer to enjoy music by sharing it with other people.

#times #music #people
Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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people
Add an article
the people
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, There are other times that
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 prefer to enjoy music by sharing it with other
people
.
For example
, many
people
 are into spending their leisure time at bars or cafes where different pieces of music are constantly being played.
Such
 public places provide us with a better chance to meet
people
 from different cultures or ages.
Moreover
, you might even have the chance to dance, talk and interact with various
people
 if you are sociable enough. On top of
this
, nowadays music is mainly presented with video clips which enables you to become familiar with
people
 from different origins by watching how they present their country or culture; like seeing their costumes and dance.
Submitted by ashutosh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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