IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#internet #matter #hand #people #socialise #statements
In recent times,increased the use of modern technology
such
 as the
internet
, phones and laptops. Some individuals believe that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 helps
people
 to conduct with anyone and anywhere,
while
others
 think that it may lead to isolation and discourage
people
 from socialising. In my opinion, I totally agree with the former statement.
To begin
 with, the
internet
 is very useful and
also
 helpful finding in the world. It helps in many ways
such
 as making conduct with
others
 and getting information about everything in the universe. The main advantage of
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 is helping to communicate with anyone. To put on another way, some apps, which is work with the help of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 namely Whatsapp, Instagram and so on. These apps help.
People
 make their life socialising, building friendships with
others
 and
also
 helping to communicate with long-distance friends and relatives.
Furthermore
, the
internet
 is a platform for talented
people
. There are manifold ways to share skills with
others
. To explain, apps
such
 as YouTube and Instagram gave a good platform to identify and show their talents and
also
 help to gain public figure positions which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
results
Add the preposition
inresults
fromresults
show examples
 them socializing their life.
For example
, there are millions of youtube content creators and insta influencers in the world through the help of the
internet
. They gain fame and money. In conclusion,Some individuals believe that the
Internet
 helps
people
 to conduct with anyone and anywhere ,
however
,
others
 think that it may lead to isolation and discourage
people
 from socializing. In my opinion, the
internet
 is a good finding to connect to
others
 and
also
 helps
people
 to encourage in socialise their life.
Submitted by lakshmimahendran915 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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