IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities
Of course, everyone has dreams and goals, and it's no secret that you have to sweat hard to achieve them. Unfortunately, some
people
 are too into it,
that is
, they
work
 17-18
hours
 a day like a robot.I believe
this
 situation has more drawbacks for a person and
also
 society rather than advantages.I will share both viewpoints in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, spending long
hours
 at
work
 would give
people
 very minimal
time
 to run personal errands.
Due to
this
, they cannot plan well in advance.
For instance
, they may miss paying a credit card bill or a utility bill on
time
 and
this
 can lead to a penalty.
Secondly
, their relationship with family and friends can be spoiled. As they do not spend quality
time
 with their children, the bonding between them can weaken.
Finally
, working for extended
hours
 could lead to several
health
 disorders. In one of the global
health
 surveys, it is reported that
health
 problems among the working population have increased. The incidences of these
health
 problems were considerably low ten years ago when
people
 worked fewer
hours
.
On the other hand
, to maintain the pace of the competition, we are forced to
work
 extensively. Money-mindedness has increased among individuals. These factors are driving a majority of
people
 to
work
 for prolonged
hours
.
Additionally
, nowadays, jobs are not secure.
This
 is another reason
that is
 forcing
people
 to voluntarily
work
 for extra
time
. One of the employee satisfaction surveys revealed that working professionals are contributing 20% more than the official working
hours
 to achieve their targets on
time
. To recapitulate, working overtime might help
people
 secure their jobs and earn more money.
However
, in the long term, it will lead to
health
 problems and reduce productivity. Not being able to spend enough
time
 with their spouse and children may
also
 affect their family.
Hence
, in my opinion, the disadvantages of
this
 development outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: