IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

These days people pay more attention to famous film stars than to famous scientists. Why is this happening? Explain the trend, giving reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #attention #film #stars #scientists #trend #support
Recently, it is thought that people concentrate on celebrities in famous films than well-known scientists,
this
 can happen because nowadays people
don’t
 care much about science topics. For me, it is reasonable of doing so. The majority of people, especially the young generations have a bad tendency to science because it’s too complex for them to understand and makes them hard to find anything interesting
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the topic.
Therefore
, they have a subculture of watching things that inspired them with joy
such
 as movies,
stories
Correct word choice
and stories
show examples
. ,
Also
 big film celebrities always got under the watch of media companies that usually gives many fake news and big dramas to catch the attention of the public more than the researcher. The first reason is that humans like to do leisure activities that
don’t
 require them to use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their intellectual ability in order to relax after a busy day, for ,example teenagers watch blockbuster movies rather than
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 at a biology documentary when they have free time.
Second,
humans are always curious and have many things to discuss
well-known
Change preposition
with well-known
show examples
 movie stars, whether if it is a fact or not
such
 as the celebrities’ relationship with others than their family,
then
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research which they
don’t
 have enough
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge to discuss and so on.
Last
 but not least, the public, especially social media has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad sympathy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 persons who is an armchair scientist In conclusion, as I mentioned above, individuals
don’t
 pay much attention to famous researchers as film celebrities, which is a fact that
humanbeings
Correct your spelling
human beings
 have a tendency, right of doing something they would like to do.
Submitted by pierre-vandenberg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: