Many people are involved in sports when they are young but stop once they are adult, why do many adults stop doing physical exercise? what can be done about this problem.

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Many
persons
Replace the word
people

The word persons doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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participate in games during their 20's.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
after
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

period they generally tend to avoid playing
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number

It appears that the phrase Number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of reasons
Add a missing verb
are attributes
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Add a missing verb
are attributes

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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attributes
Wrong verb form
attributed
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to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation which has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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own solutions. Both
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes

It seems that cause may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and remedies are discussed in
following
Correct article usage
the following

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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paragraphs. One of the prominent
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons

It seems that reason may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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is physical stability. At
young
Add an article
a young

The noun phrase young age seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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age
Add a comma
,age

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase At young age. Consider adding a comma.

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a person's muscular and bone strength is high which tends to lessen after
certain
Add an article
a certain

The noun phrase certain age seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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age. Another reason is responsibility towards family. After getting married, people do not get enough
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for physical
acitivity
Correct your spelling
activity

If you don’t want acitivity to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

as their
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is divided between family and office. A recent survey of
individual's
Change noun form
individuals

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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in
Correct pronoun usage
their 30's
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Correct pronoun usage
their 30's

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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30's
Fix apostrophe usage
'30s
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has reported that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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75 persons out of 100
are has
Change the verb form
have

It appears that the form of the verb has does not work with are in this sentence.

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not played their favourite
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

since completion of school. In order to
cop
Correct your spelling
cope

The word cop doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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up
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation, a company should open up a
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

pool for
it's
Replace the word
its

It appears that the contraction it's should be a possessive pronoun instead. Consider changing it.

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employees so that they can spend free
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after physical exercise. In
government
Add an article
the government

The noun phrase government sector seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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sector, there should be
handsome
Add an article
a handsome

The noun phrase handsome reward seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards

It seems that reward may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for
sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

players in order to motivate them.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if a player wins
medal
Add an article
a medal
the medal

The noun phrase medal seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for his state, he should be promoted earlier. In conclusion, though there are many obstacles
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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persitant
Correct your spelling
persistent

If you don’t want persitant to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

interest in playing
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games

It seems that game may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, devoting
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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sports
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is necessary for good health.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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