children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#children #families #amount #money #adult #life #brough #parents

Nowadays, in

this

consumerist

society

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,society

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there is a significant gap between the poor and the rich. Some people opine that

children

in moneyless families have a better upbringing and

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

better knowledge. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

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I intend to delve into

this

topic and

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apply

show examples

examine it from different sides. On the one hand,

children

who grow up with less money learn to appreciate their value.

Thus

, they realised that if a person desires wealth, he must put in a lot of effort to achieve

this

condition of financial independence, as

this

is important

inside

Change preposition

apply

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that they receive at

this

early age.

Moreover

, if something unpleasant happens to them, they will learn how to tackle a variety of problems, with their own skills, rather than just

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

pay.

Therefore

children

in poor families are more polite and even mature and

also

they are far from spoiled. On the other side of the argument, parents with possessions can enable their kids to study in prestigious schools, where they can acquire numerous useful lessons and

also

meet with other

children

with the same living standard.

In addition

, their mothers and fathers can teach them how to be successful and how to earn fortunes. Unfortunately, most wealthy

children

are pampered and are used to receiving anything they want regardless of its cost.

This

may end up negatively, as they grow there are not willing to work in order to deserve their money.

That is

just the unpleasant reality. To put it in a nutshell ,

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pen down saying that the advantages of being brought up by moneyless parents outweigh the downsides and despite the difficulties over

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

childhood, kids tend to be more responsible and disciplined, which is essential for finding a well-paid job.

Submitted by elitsankova2005 on Sun Apr 23 2023

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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children who are brought up in families that do not have large amount of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brough up by wealthy parents. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some believe children should be taught to give speeches and presentations in school. Why is this? What other skills do you think it is important to be taught in schools?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?

The internet is generally considered as a blessing for mankind. Do the advantages of it outweigh its disadvantages?

some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?