The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (Co2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

#carbon #dioxide #co #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden

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this

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line graph illustrates

average

Correct article usage

the average

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carbon dioxide

emissions

Use synonyms

in four different countries for each person in metric tonnes.

it is clear that

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Remove the comma

apply

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the amount of

this

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pollution generally declined in the UK and Sweden

while

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Remove the comma

apply

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these statistics increased in Italy and Portugal in the period

Change preposition

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question.

according to

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although

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the amount of CO2 in the UK dropped from almost 11 to 9 ,it has stood the highest

emissions

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per person until 2007. it is

also

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maintained that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

emissions

Use synonyms

of Sweden

firstly

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was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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Correct article usage

apply

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significant

Change the word

significantly

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rose from above 8 to 10 in 1977,

then

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it was starting to go down and remain

roughly

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at roughly

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5 in 2007. Sweden was one of the lowest countries of Co2

emissions

Use synonyms

per person in 2007.

in addition

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, the average of carbon dioxide kept rising from about 1 to 5 metric tonnes in Portugal though, it was the lowest rate during the given period.

also

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, the amount of Co2 in Italy increased sharply from roughly 4 to 8 in 2007

while

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, increasing slightly after 1997.

Submitted by amirhsina on Sun Apr 23 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words emissions with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

169 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

carbon dioxide emissions
per person
United Kingdom
Sweden
Italy
Portugal
graph
compare
average
increase
decrease
trend
peak
decline
years
period

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The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (Co2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

In many countries today, people buy a range of household goods( television, microwave, oven and rice cookers). Is it a positive or negative development?

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large numbers of students in a classroom. Nowadays new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this new approach to teaching?

In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

"Some people believe that technological advancements have improved our lives significantly, while others argue that technology has brought more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your opinion."