Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures

#people #music #cultures

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There are some

individuals

Use synonyms

who believe that

music

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is a more effective way that enables

people

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from other countries to be together even though from different places or ages. I partially

agree

Add the preposition

onagree

toagree

withagree

show examples

whit

such

Linking Words

a point of view because even though

music

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is a good tool to help

people

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strengthen their bonds,

this

Linking Words

initiative can not be accepted by all

individuals

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around the world. On the one hand,

music

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enables the raising of interpersonal ties through the release of

cortisol

Correct article usage

the cortisol

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hormone, as when

individuals

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are listening to the same

music

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as other

people

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from a different place they will probably share a feeling of empathy even not

knowing

Wrong verb form

know

show examples

much about

this

Linking Words

person’s culture.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

behaviour

Use synonyms

will enable the creation of a truthful relationship.

For example

Linking Words

, it is known that when

people

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are

Change preposition

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an international

music

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event they relate more interest in learning about a different person's

behaviour

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, which leads to more cultural knowledge sharing.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some

individuals

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who are not able to recognize

music

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as a way to gather

people

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, as they can not understand different types of

music

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present in another culture.

As a consequence

Linking Words

individuals

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will be less concerned in share personal perspectives and knowledge about their lives.

For example

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, it is estimated that 4 out of 10 Brazilian guys related do not participate in foreign

music

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competitions mainly because they have no

interested

Replace the word

interest

show examples

to learn about the musical likes of other citizens from a different culture.

To conclude

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, I do believe that even though

music

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can allow

people

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from different cultures or ages to share experience and knowledge

this

Linking Words

can not be a general

behaviour

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presented for everyone.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

behaviour

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should be considered individually since each person has their own cultural perspective and interests.

Submitted by Nayara on Sun Apr 23 2023

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures

Your opinion

Today parents spend little free time with their children. Why is it the case? Who are more affected: parents or children?

Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children . Do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Plastic bags, bottles, and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to slove this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.